


keep me close, love me most

by angvlicdean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dean Winchester-centric, Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, and i refuse to edit and make it canon compliant, but i don't go into too much detail, the two can coexist because i wrote this ~s13, they're retired and in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29507451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angvlicdean/pseuds/angvlicdean
Summary: even after they leave the life behind, monsters follow dean everywhere.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	keep me close, love me most

even after they leave the life behind, monsters follow dean everywhere.

they come at the grocery store, when dean turns just slightly to avoid security cameras watching from the corners. it’s been years since his identity was plastered on TV screens and store windows– people have forgotten. still, letting his face be seen on something as permanent as a recording feels like a liability.

they come in the bathroom mirror, when he leans over the sink to brush his teeth and pale scar tissue draws his attention. they don’t bother him, not anymore. but the assortment of knife cuts and bullet holes are nevertheless stark reminders of a life defined by pain and violence, more than anyone should have to endure.

they come when the young woman who lives down the street taps him on the shoulder without warning. she just wanted to tell him how nicely cas’ garden is growing. dean’s first instinct is to go for the machete that isn’t on his hip anymore. they come when he unconsciously creates an exit plan for every room he walks into, and when he touches the gun below his pillow before going to sleep.

but most of all, the monsters come at night.

the dreams blur together after a while. dean always forgets the details when he wakes up, but what he does remember is blood, and death, and screaming until his throat is hoarse. maybe they’re hell memories surfacing even after all this time. maybe they’re just fragments of his many hunts over the years. either way, they all end with dean waking up in a cold sweat and a strangled yell, his heart racing painfully.

even when there are no nightmares, the smallest noise will startle him awake– a creak in the floorboards, the rustle of trees outside– his body tensed and ready to either fight or run.

it used to be worse, though. he used to be alone.

now, when dean snaps back to consciousness, cas wakes up too. “hey,” he says, his voice sleepy and rough and familiar. “what is it, what’s wrong?”

dean doesn’t answer, frantically scanning the shadowy corners of their bedroom for whoever was just hurting him, hurting sam–

“no one’s there, love.” cas whispers. he slips a hand around dean’s waist and tugs him closer. “you’re okay. it’s just me. i promise.”

the touch grounds dean, bringing him back to the present. cas is home. cas is safe.

he swallows. his breathing calms, syncing with the rise and fall of cas’ chest against his back. “yeah, i’m fine. it was just a bad dream. sorry for waking you.”

“don’t be.” cas says sternly– or as stern as one can be while half-asleep and dressed in boxers and a ‘save the bees’ t-shirt. he finds dean’s hand in the dark and holds it tight. “now go back to sleep, please. i’ll keep you safe.”

dean smiles in the dark and closes his eyes. the last thing he registers before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep is the press of warm lips on the back of his neck.

**Author's Note:**

> not my best work, and i didn't wanna re-edit since it had already been posted on tumblr years ago but i hope you enjoyed! :P ([here's](https://angvlicdean.tumblr.com/post/183203011360/even-after-they-leave-the-life-behind-monsters) the tumblr link if you wanna support it there!)
> 
> if you got this far, thanks for reading!! :D


End file.
